Tips for Overcoming the Overwhelm of Creating Your Wedding Registry
As a wedding planner, it’s always a surprise to me when my couples hesitate around the process of compiling their wedding registry. Many have expressed that registering seems like an overwhelming process: There are too many decisions with too many options, with the possibility of being too time consuming. I certainly understand how it can feel like a monumental task, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve for slaying this dragon. Read on if you’d like to know!
The number one response I get from couples when I broach the registry question is “Do we have to register”? In most cases I say yes. At least have a small registry to give your family and friends an idea of the items you are interested in. Some may argue that if you don’t have a registry, you’ll get all cash gifts, right? Not always. You may indeed receive some monetary gifts, but I can also guarantee you that you’ll get a collection of random items that you may not want or need. Or, you’ll get the same tea kettle from multiple guests. From experience, I also know that by forgoing a wedding registry, you may find yourself fielding many calls and emails from family and friends asking where you’re registered. The exception to the rule is in the case that you plan to openly state “no gifts,” then you can skip having a registry.
Something else to consider is that you may not need all the items found on a typical registry. Fine China? Maybe, if you’re a traditionalist or really enjoy setting a luxurious table when entertaining. Bath towels? Only if you need or anticipate wanting a new set soon. Glassware? Perhaps you already have a well-stocked bar and can skip this one. You can pick and choose which categories are meaningful to you. Maybe you want camping gear versus a silver pattern. Or luxurious linens are at the top of your list. You get to decide what best fits the two of you and the home you plan to create together. To help, I suggest breaking down the list into five categories: Kitchen, Dining, Bed & Bath, Home Accessories, and Hobbies. If you would like more specific lists, you can download our checklist by clicking here.
Once you’ve decided the categories of items you want to register for, it’s time to choose the retailers that best fit your style. I always suggest options that have an online presence, with a storefront being optional. Since it is highly likely that some of your guests may live in a different geographic area than you, the ability to shop online is a must. I recommend keeping the number of retailers small, with just 3 or 4 options at most. Pro Tip: Be sure to check the return policies from your registry retailers.
You do not have to completely figure out your registry in one fell swoop. It can be edited and refined over time. In fact, my number one tip for registering is to go to the store and use the registry wand with abandon. Don’t worry if you scan two of an item – you can edit later at home (in PJ’s, with a glass of wine!). Have fun with it. Also, one last note: I always recommend having registry items at different price points. Remember to register only for things you want, but I always think it’s a good plan to have a handful of items that are budget friendly.
We’ve registered – now what? It’s one of those things in life that can be set it and forget it, or you can edit at your leisure. Periodically check in to assess if you need to add more items. Also, remember to let people know where you are registered. The easiest way to do so is to add it to your wedding website. Add that website to your save-the-dates and voila – the marketing of your registry is done! Also, remember to tell your immediate family and wedding party about your registry as they may be in contact with extended family and friends throughout your engagement, and can answer that question for you.
Is hoping for cash tacky? Nope – in today’s day and age, that is an acceptable option. There are various sites such as Zola and Honeyfund that allow you to collect funds via their websites. Keep in mind, though, that many guests choose to wait to the actual wedding date to bring monetary gifts.
One final option that I love, for couples who feel no desire for gifts, is to setup a charity donation in lieu of gifts. There are various ways to direct these gifts: One couple I worked with was passionate about National Parks, so we contacted the National Park Service directly to set up giving in the couple’s name. Another couple placed a small card at each guest’s place setting noting that a donation had been made in their name to a favorite charity. And yet another noted on their wedding website that while gifts were not necessary, any monetary gifts would be donated following the wedding.
Giving some thought the lives you are establishing together, and then using that as a guideline to create a registry will help you achieve just that!